Something I called for and yearn for.
Yesterday, as I felt into a bad decision of myself, even after I knew the situation, even after I looked for another solution, I still felt into a wrong decision. I assumed it myself, without even asking and knowing the fact. I made my own conclusion, my own calculation, all day thinking that I had choosed the right thing.
The bad is I made my bestfriend felt into that wrong decision as well.
Maybe that is what caused me so... feeling so regretful. Of course, I wronged my family too as well.
I learn a new thing after that. Don’t make your own conclusion, always make sure about anything according to the fact, not based on your own conclusion. Don’t rush thing, keep calm even in the critical situation.
Okay. Just let that one passed. I don’t really want to talk about that again. It makes my heart huurttttt.
This morning, as I woke up, I thought I really need to heal myself. Of course, the only thing I need is just my Blui and my (imaginary) hubby, Mas Suga. Kekekeke...
Listened to BTS songs while writing is the best way for healing my hurtful soul. What is BTS? Bangtansoyeondan, Beyond The Scene, Bulletproof Boys, okay, anything. I love them. The first time I fall in love this deeply in a kpop group, because of the music they made, the value they said, their personality, their life, their body, and everything, Hahahaha..... I found a group that I feel so similiar with me. So similiar that I really want to hug them, I want to ask them how can they become so succesful like that? Because I found so many similiar things in me, except that success but soon to be I hope. They make me confident to talk about dreams. The words ‘dreams’ for me used to be so frightful, burdened, something that seems so high and impossible to reach. But, because of them...
dreams, dreaming, become something that I have to enjoy while living in this cruel world. Something like oxygen and... no need to think too much. Just do the best whatever the result to be.
Then, why talk about ‘dreaming’ again?
Me myself is about to be fed up. Haha. But, dreams maybe is the only thing that human need to be able to live. Even after all of that falls, all of that tears, also that ungranted wish and hope, human will always be able to live because of that ‘Pandora’ things, called hope.
As I am a Moslem, not because of any means, I just want to share that in Al-Qur’an, even Allah SWT, stated it clearly in Surah Al-Balad 4-5,
“Sungguh, Aku telah menciptakan manusia berada dalam susah payah. Apakah dia (manusia) itu mengira bahwa tidak ada sesuatu pun yang berkuasa di atasnya?”
Because God will always make human into a difficult situation, a difficult situation according their own capability as stated in Al-Qur’an Surah Al-Baqarah 286. So, there are called ‘hardship’, ‘hope’, ‘prays’, and many other things that sticks together with ‘dreams’.
Anyway, remember that dreams is like oxygen. Not just to be reached or fulfilled, but more like something that we need in all of our life. Just think like that, then our life may be more lightful, brightfull, and filled by thankfulness.